AIG Donates $100,000 to UNICEF, Enrages Taxpayers

The announcement yesterday that AIG has donated $100,000 of government bailout money to UNICEF has infuriated taxpayers, who allege that the company is once again misusing the bailout funds given to them. Having flared the temper of the American public just days earlier by announcing that they would be paying $165 million in bonuses to company executives, AIG seems to have done even more damage to their reputation with this UNICEF announcement. I got a chance to catch up with John Paul Rubicon, a construction worker from New Jersey, who says that he is fed up with AIG’s abuse of taxpayer dollars. “I am tired of watching AIG just throw around my hard earned money to these selfish and useless purposes!” shrieked Rubicon. “Bonuses!? Children!? What’s next!? Bacon!?

AIG has become infamous for nearly collapsing last year, and is still operating only because of an unprecedented taxpayer bailout now totaling $170 billion. Although $100,000 seems like a small amount next to $170 billion, in these tough economic times the taxpayers want every dollar of that bailout money going towards one thing; stabilizing the shitstorm that is the U.S. financial market. “I don’t know what AIG was thinking giving 100 grand to UNICEF,” Rubicon noted. “I’ve had to take a second job just to keep my house, and AIG is giving my money to some kids I’m never gonna see, let alone employ!”

With the economy in its current state, it isn’t surprising that the public’s concern over possibly more important issues, such as the 158 million children aged 5-14 engaged in child labor, has dwindled. In a recent poll, just 9% of respondents said they were concerned about child labor and other worldwide atrocities, while a whopping 72% said “I don’t give a flying f***” regarding those issues. Shocking as those statistics might be, and even more alarming that the large majority actually used the terms “flying f***” in their response, they may just be signs of the times. “Listen, I know there’s a bunch of crap going on in the world, but right now we have to throw money at our own issues,” said Rubicon, in between bites of a bacon cheeseburger. “Just tell whoever this UNICEF guy is to talk to us in a few years.”